


Angels in Tahiti

by Ali_R95, Bunnylordofdoom, Oz_the_Magician, supernaturallypossessed



Series: Angels in Tahiti [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Tahiti, kinds of crack....
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 16:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2698961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ali_R95/pseuds/Ali_R95, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnylordofdoom/pseuds/Bunnylordofdoom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oz_the_Magician/pseuds/Oz_the_Magician, https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturallypossessed/pseuds/supernaturallypossessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based a little off "Supernatural The Untold Story". After one angel ran away to Tahiti to avoid the general shit happening in the world, the rest of the 'dead' angels seemed to join him on the magical island. ...Things got a bit crazy. [fic its based off http://archiveofourown.org/works/2683601 ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angels in Tahiti

**Author's Note:**

> Supernatural The Untold Story: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2683601
> 
> There are a lot of non canon angels in this fic because, lets be serious, we couldn't just call all of them background angel number whatever.
> 
> Thomas - the angel we follow from Supernatural The Untold Story. Basically just the original angel sent to save Dean from Hell  
> Anpiel- random angel #1. The guardian of birds  
> Barman- random angel #2. Primary Guardians of the Planetary Animals and the angel of victory  
> Dagiel - random angel #3. Guardian angel of fish  
> Diniel - random angel #4. Name meaning "God is my judge. He's one of the younger angels  
> Dumah - angel of silence  
> Alfred - a nerd angel

It had started off innocent, honestly. Thomas’ daring adventure into the fiery pits of Hell to rescue ‘The Righteous Man’ was going great until the celestial ball of grace realized something. It was hot. Hot as Hell, pun intended. And unbearable heat plus Lucifer’s incessant whining about how he would soon be with his Sammy made Thomas realize no amount of holy praise in the universe was worth finishing this mission. So, like any sensible angel would do, he hightailed it out of Hell and made for Tahiti.

 

Tahiti, it turned out, was a magical place. Its location made for the best seats in the universe to watch as the Apocalypse began and shit hit the proverbial fan while Thomas sipped on an appletini. Lucifer ran around like an obsessive fan girl, trying to follow Sam’s every move while Castiel was engaging in eye intercourse with Michael’s sword. So when Cas and Dean do get together, it will totally be because of Thomas. Chuck bless Thomas.

 

Lucifer continued on his quest for Sam's affection, much to Gabriel's disdain. Lucifer found out about Gabriel’s secret affection for Sam, and ‘laid a smackdown on his ass'.  But Gabe wasn’t having any of that, so a cat fight broke out. All the while, Thomas watched on as he sipped his Appletini. Next thing Thomas knew, Gabriel appeared next to him, his own fruity beverage in hand.

 

“Take a seat, I have a feeling we’re gonna be here awhile,” Thomas said to the whiny angel. Gabriel sat down grumbling about Lucifer being a little bitch.

 

As Lucifer’s temper tantrum continued, more angels appeared. So many were there, that the angel’s were starting to form their own heaven. Some of the more dickish angels were demoted to Boohiti, Tahiti’s lamer brother island. But, no matter what island of heaven the angels were in, the celestial beings favorite pastime was watching, as Gabriel had dubbed them, ‘Team Free Fail’.

“They’re gonna be together within the year,” Anpiel commented as they all watched Dean and Cas eye fucking again.

“Within the year? With how much sexual tension is there, I bet that its within the week,” Barman scoffed.  

“Bitches please, those two are thicker than concrete, they won’t be together for a long time,” Gabriel said, schooling the other two fledglings.

 

“Brothers! Sisters! Look! Lucifer is in Sam and feeling up himself,” The other angels just stared, Dagiel coughed, “And I mean the final battle between Michael and Lucifer is happening…”

 

“Yeah, that’s some shit,” professed God, the almighty writer of the Winchester gospels as he plopped next to Gabriel, bottle of whiskey in hand.

“Shouldn’t you be helping or something?” Thomas asked the buzzed God.

“Meh,” Chuck shrugged, “They have the four cereal box rings, they should be good.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything….” Thomas started.

“Four rings to rule them all,” Alfred, the nerdiest angel of them all, interrupted the two holy entities holding up his own One True Ring.

“Shut the fuck up, Alfred” Zachariah snapped. Chuck snapped, poofing Zachariah back over to Boohiti with Uriel and the rest of the angels in time out.

    “Are Sam and Dean fighting over one of the rings?” Diniel asked, watching Lucifer-Sam beat the living bejesus out of Dean.

“Nah brother, Sam is carrying Dean on his back,” Alfred explained to Diniel like the old, wise man he was not.

    “Well he is big enough to be a pack moose,” Gabriel injected.

    “Alfred, stop quoting Lord of the Rings.”

“Holy shit! Lucifer just exploded Castiel!” Dagiel exclaimed.

“Again? That’s the second time someone’s exploded Castiel,” Thomas questioned, remembering the last time Castiel was turned into the fourth of july firework.

 

Suddenly, in a literal flash, Castiel was stood in front of all his ‘deceased’ brothers and sisters. Hands traveling across his torso he approached the angel closest to him,

“Brother (name) I saw you die. Where are we?”

“Uh…. Hey Castiel. Welcome to Tahiti.”

 

Meanwhile Gabriel, who had seen the messy explosion of Castiel, hopped skipped and flew his way over to where Chuck was working on his tan on the quiet side of the island.

“Wakey, Wakey old man you’ve got some life giving to do!”

“.... Gabe please im not that old.”

“You’re older than life itself. Face it, it’s time to get you a Life Alert Alarm.”

“Anyway, who am i giving life to?”

“Baby bro Cas”

“He’s dead again?”

“Uh yeah.”

“Raphael?”

“No…. Lucifer”

“Christ, Cas really needs to avoid his brothers when they’re ‘warring’.” Chuck let out a groan as he pushed himself up onto his feet. “You still got 500 on him and Dean?”

“Actually I upped it to 1000 after the brothel incident.”

“Gabriel thats 1000 drinks at Thomas’ Coconut Milk Bar.”

“Yeah!” Gabriel gave Chuck a playful shove in the direction where Cas was interrogating a poor ex-garrison member. “Thats why you need to send him back!”

“You’re a terrible cheater….”

“Shut up you old geezer and get snapping.” In a flash of light, yet again literally, Cas disappeared from Tahiti and found himself standing once more on Earth’s green grass. It was the shortest holiday the angel had experienced and knowing Castiel it probably wouldn't be his last.

 

But while Cas hitched a ride back to Laurence, Sam, with a seriously powerful mind vice, was able to retake his body and within the minute Sam and Michael-Adam were taking a nose dive into the cage. Cas stroked Dean’s face in a very platonic way, while bringing back everybody’s favorite surgot father. But then everyone broke apart and a large crowd of angels and chuck were left staring once again at the very boring world.

“Great, now what are we supposed to do for entertainment?” Anpiel questioned.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this but we could always,” Chuck grimaced, “…..socialize.”

Thomas gave a desperate look to Dumah, silently asking him what happened to his beautiful Tahiti. Dumah just stared back. It was time for another drink.


End file.
